"Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down" ~ Talking Heads - Once In a Lifetime
Whenever I hear that question my brain automatically goes to the Talking Heads. It's similar to the movie Inside Out. There's a scene where Riley, one of the main characters, long term memory where the "workers" send up a gum commercial to randomly remind her about the jingle. Suddenly she is humming this jingle out of nowhere. It is kind of like that, or just suddenly humming the "cars for kids" jingle. It is interesting how our minds work. Now, if you have not seen that movie yet, go watch it! It is an animated children's movie that talks in-depth about psychology and human/our emotions.
I figured now would be as good of a time to give you a little bit of a timeline. The pandemic was a big push for me to do my thing, however many other things brought me here.
I was studying biology in college for a few years and I felt very lost. Besides being lost, I dealt with many health issues that took a mental toll as well. I took a break and spent many hours thinking. I just wanted a career that gave me financial stability and would afford me the life I wanted, which really involves travel. Clearly not many of us have traveled recently, but it is still something that holds a massive spot in my mind. Radiologic technology, or x-ray, became the career I wanted to pursue.
X-ray combines sciences and requires an eye for creativity, much like photography. In photography you have your shutter, ISO, DOF, etc. In radiologic technology you have KVP, mAs, distance, etc. Just like photography you can have noise in an image, same for radiologic technology. Basically, my passion for x-ray sprouted due to being an avid photographer.
Those 2 years were some of the toughest years. Clinical was a full time, around the year, part of the program. I remember having laryngitis at one point and I could not miss any clinical hours. Somehow I got by performing exams with my very raspy/husky almost nonexistent voice. I worked a few different jobs, went to school, did CrossFit, and watched after the cutest little kid ever (I'll always love my Jojo!). So, I completed the program and on graduation day I had my first of what would be 2 hip surgeries. Instead of walking in graduation, I was strolled down the hall to the operating room.
Per usual, the enigma I am could not just "get better" like most people. I struggled with recovery and major pain. Heck, I'm sure falling down the stairs a couple weeks after surgery didn't help... It's great to be a clutz. Due to this, I could not work in the field right away. Getting a job became harder and harder just because I needed a surgery to make me not have pain daily. Employers were concerned with a new tech who was starting 4 months post graduation, because G-d forbid I act like a human and have ailments that slow me down...
I did it! I finally landed a job!! At least I thought I did, until I got a call that my THC test was positive. This was not too shocking to me.
As a medical marijuana patient for several years I educated myself and it was against protocol/procedure to disclose that information to my employer. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. However, I did land another job shortly after, moved out to Western Massachusetts, and I did start my career! Working in a hospital I gained a lot of knowledge. There was so much about x-ray that I am still passionate about, but there were many cons to being in that atmosphere.
Toxicity and wellness somehow go hand in hand when working in a hospital. The nurses are angry and cranky, doctors do not take their time, most people blame others and do not work together as a team. Many shifts I would come home and burst into tears. Technologists were treating me poorly because I looked different, learned slower, and needed more help sometimes. Needing assistance was seen as a deficiency or flaw on your person and showed your lack of ability. When in actuality, a little bit of teamwork and patience could have made a difference. Not only did staff treat other coworkers poorly, they did it to patients as well.
Cannabis consumers have had a long standing stigma of laziness, snacking, not working, etc. Hospital staff treated patients that smelled like pot in a much different way. There was not the same candor and patience. After leaving the patients, I would have to endure the technologist bad mouthing and shaming those that smoke weed. It was so hard to sit there and listen when I just wanted them to see the imaginary arrows pointing at me from above saying "pot smoker here". I always kept my cannabis use hidden for fear of the stigma and my JOB. Little did these snotty people know that I consumed pot everyday. On a daily basis I would have some form of weed. Medicine is medicine, especially if it is not conventional.
I hated my first few months of my career. I loved the money, the schedule (sometimes), and learning new things. I despised my coworkers' treatments and my worsening hip pain. Fast forward to hip surgery number 2!! I began beading and making jewelry to distract myself. I learned more about stones and their energies/properties with each piece I made. Enigma Jewelya loves to be abnormal. Once again, I could not recover in the "normal" amount of time which to my employer was already more time off than they were willing to cooperate with, and they let me go. They were like "sorry, but you're done here" (not just like that, but ya know) LAME ASS $HIT!!
Fortunately, I could work as a ski instructor. Since I had my surgery early fall I was aiming to be on skis around mid to late January. I was still applying to jobs in my desired field. However, my gaps on my resume and other things that the media did not share yet was making that difficult. And just like that it was February 2020 and the pandemic ramped up like crazy. We all know what happened from there. Funny thing many people do not know about, quite a few hospitals furloughed rad techs. Seems crazy, to many during a pandemic. Operations were canceled and rescheduled for much later. Most of the staff was necessary in the ER, in-patients, etc. Spring of 2020 was a very strange time.
Like many, I had no idea what was happening or what to do...
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