~Snowy nights turning
Into snowy days.
Tree limbs bent and astray.
Sliding and drifting away,
the world is gray.
The weight of all,
Heavy.
In the gray,
there is the stark white.
Fluffy sparkles
Mirroring the sparks in your eyes~
Winter.
I love all the seasons. Each season represents a different stage in the year. As the years pass, I notice Winter and Summer to be my favorite. Spring and fall are difficult seasons. In the calendar they represent transition periods. Days get longer or shorter. Plants grow and resprout or slowly die. Transitions are periods of growth and decay. Then you have winter and summer where things are more set in stone. The changes you decided previously are put into action.
As a human we have the opportunity to learn and grow at any given moment. In moments of growth you may feel the decay of your old self. The metaphor of a butterfly is used quite heavily as metamorphosis is so similar to becoming a newer, wiser, more beautiful version of you. For this reason, the person you might have known 2 years ago, 4 months ago, and even yesterday could be different entirely!! There is so much beauty in the ability to adapt, change, and further develop your SELF.
Winter 2021-22 was a big game changer for me. Skiing 50 plus days fed my soul. With the end of winter that meant the end of a job. I never stopped looking. I was applying to jobs all winter with nothing to show for it. Some would say I was being picky, however in this day and age you CANNOT take a job that you can't pay your bills off of. Spring of 2022 was difficult for me just like the spring prior.
Spring is the time to transition out of skiing and into whatever mode I'll be in for the rest of the year, till December. As much as ski season fed my soul, it wasn't the easiest for me emotionally as I was struggling with this on and off relationship I kept putting myself through. (It's a very long story that will be a different thread some day.) I decided to do some new things as my anxiety and panic attacks at this point were more prevalent and debilitating (I wish I knew then why they were so bad).
I reached out to someone even further in Western Mass who was doing ice swimming for pain management. I love self help/alternative medicine and as I was reading ways to help anxiety ice swims came up. The Wim Hof method was something I heard about a year or two before and brushed it off. In the last year I've seen so many people, via social media, getting into the benefits of breathwork and ice swims.
Carin and I met at one of my favorite waterfalls on a brisk April day. I set my expectations high as I typically do for myself. We worked on some breathing and slowly walked into the water. I felt my toes turn to icicles immediately. My whole body just clammed up as the cold bit me hard! I stood there trying to breath as Carin kept wading in.
It was breath taking, literally, to witness the way Carin and the water work symbiotically. They became one.
The water rushing and cooling as Carin absorbs the magic healing powers. That time I think I went in up to my waist or so. There was no way I was dunking that time.
It was an exhilarating experience that left me so hungry after! I'm happy I tried it out!
Meanwhile trying new things and branching out, I was interviewing and applying to multiple cannabis facilities. One company did about 4 interviews, 2 virtual and 2 in person before telling me they were going with someone else. It was becoming very frustrating to spend so much time and energy only to be told "Sorry, we are going with another candidate". Through this I learned accepting that some doors are just not meant to open. I had to keep telling myself this.
All the extra time allowed me to focus on the business I started. The Wandering Jewels webshop opened in April of 2022 and that is also when I started tabling for spring and summer events. Pretty much from April-June I did interviews, made jewelry, sold jewelry at events, and enjoyed getting outside. It was tough, but it was always nice to have ample time to get peace by the water.
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