"We know where we're from
We're leavin' Babylon
We're goin' to our Fatherland" Exodus by Bob Marley
When I first started to write this post it was in July. Life picked up and things were left on the back burner. The days kept passing until the High Holidays. I was looking forward to sharing Tashlich with a friend. This part of the high holydays is my favorite as I find it the most symbolic. This method of releasing our sins of the last year is cathartic and the act of throwing our crumbs "sins" into the water to let them get washed away always helps me reset. This year it felt special to share this and then things changed, they morphed.
Running through my mind everyday "How did we get here?"
October 7th
As we all know, there was a ceasefire October 6th, and then it was Saturday. Shabbat and Simchat Torah.
Holy Days
Since then life has been anything but normal. I was hoping to have my Israel blog out before the high holidays and it was not happening. Now my mind is in spirals. I cannot even imagine what my family is enduring. It's not like they haven't been in bomb shelters before however this is different. This time it's lengthy, the world keeps blaming Israel, there are children at risk, the rockets from multiple sides haven't stopped. I cannot imagine the emotions those in Israel feel. Mine do not even compare and its the only reason I'm grateful to be a diaspora Jew.
In our lifetime, in my generation's lifetime, we saw a pogrom, a massacre, a barbaric and inhumane event that NEVER should have occurred. Terror. Terror causes harm. More than that, lack of education causes immense harm on top of terror. I can only write from my experience. In the wake of October 7th, I lost friends, I lost community, I lost a support system, acquaintances. I had plans that all were turned upside down as people's antisemitism came out of the woodwork quicker than termites.
I have felt an immense sadness. I cried so many tears that my skin on my face physically ached. I've felt anger that made my face hot and neck muscles pop. I've felt utter disappointment from those that said they'd support me. I felt betrayal from people that were there for countless Jewish holidays and a lack of support with all this horror only to then learn they too joined in on the Israel hate.
I have been at the brunt of so much antisemitism. I never imagined this could happen. No one prepared us, nor could anyone prepare us for the energy that we've seen in the wake of such a horrible event. The antisemitism is uncomfortable and eats at you. Again, I think about the discomfort of those in the actual war zone. My little bit of discomfort I feel from the rampant antisemitism is a fraction of the discomfort of those in Israel and Gaza. This much I can endure.
My mother told me at a young age that when things happen with Israel you will lose people in your life and that's a part of being Jewish.
I feel lonely and also surrounded by arms and hands I have never met. I feel the world embrace and support from the tribe. There is something beautiful about the collective suffering of the Jewish people. Its our togetherness. It's the slogan that for over 2000 years they've expelled and tried to kill us and WE ARE STILL HERE.
Fifteen years ago, the year 2008, I was fortunate enough to go to Israel for my first time. My mom has always been a rule breaker. Maybe rule breaker is the wrong term, norm breaker. My mom, being the mom of three daughters, raised us to be strong, vocal, fight for what is right, be kind to others, don't judge a book by its cover, and most importantly she taught us about what it means to be a Zionist.
When I was a kid my mom decided to start a Young Judea group in our community. My sisters and I were attending Jewish sleep away camp, like many American Jews. However, Young Judea was about teaching how important the State of Israel is and we also discussed topics such as the holocaust, the Jewish holidays, etc.
My mom had lived in Israel for almost a year her freshman year of college in a program called Year Course. She went back a couple times after to visit. Due to her experiences, she talked to us about amazing leaders such as Theodor Herzl (the father of zionism), Golda Meir, Ben Gurion, Chaim Weizmann, etc. Educating us about Israel and its history and the importance was one of the best things my mother did. It ignited a burning passion, a passion for our true homeland that has been burning since. A fire was awakened.
The flame was ignited, and then started to burn brighter in 2008 when our whole family went on a 3 week trip to Israel. We were there for me and my sisters Bat Mitzvah which was done at the Davidson Center. This trip was more than just for a coming of age event. This was a trip to get in touch with our culture, our family (many of whom we never met), and to connect with the beauty that Israel holds. From this trip on I knew I would be returning. Between the most amazing family and the rich culture I constantly felt my heart tugging me. Israel, when you listen to her, whispers and pulls at your heart strings.
Then the opportunity arose. April 20th 2023 my mom and I embarked on our journey to Israel together. I was granted the opportunity to let my burning flame for Israel get even bigger and brighter. I was very excited and nervous.
When I first started writing this I was going to detail so many amazing moments. That does not sit right with me now. I want to show people how beautiful Israel is. The country, the people, the energy is contagious and electrifying. From the moment your feet start walking down the ramp there's this energy. I felt this buzz through my nervous system. I felt it from the ramp till we took the first steps outside the airport. The noise of taxis and people with the smell of tobacco for some reason made me grin ear to ear.
I was HOME!
The first thing my mom and I did after settling in the air bnb was walk down to the shore.
The energy in Tel Aviv is something else. I can't even come up with words to describe it. We walked down the beach as the sun was starting its decent into the water. We sat and had drinks at the bar and the first thing I said was "Mom, look around. Look at all the beautiful people"
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