Some live their years by the holidays. From labor day, to thanksgiving, to Christmas, to Easter, etc. I live my years by the seasons and the moon. In America we live off a Gregorian calendar. Most countries follow this type of calendar. In the last few years I have delved into learning more about my culture and ethnicity. To be Jewish is to be part of one of the few and oldest ethnoreligions. This means that I am Jewish religiously if I choose to practice and I am Jewish based off of the land of where my ancestors came from.
The calendar in Israel, also known as the Hebrew calendar, is a lunisolar calendar. It is used In Israel for religious purposes but it also gives a time frame for agriculture. To me this makes sense as many of the celebration coincide with planting and/or harvesting of agriculture. There are many different ways for you to calculate what a year means for you. Our minds all work in such unique amazing ways. For me, going by seasons and thinking about the lunar calendar my heritage uses has helped me with a semblance of routine in my adult life.
As I get older, I find it harder to hold my self accountable. I strive with routine, however when I am in charge of making said routine I find it much harder to stay consistent. This is mainly where I see my "undiagnosed ADHD" set in. Recognizing my patterns of functionality has helped me with this. As I said in the previous post, transition seasons are difficult for me. At these times, I have learned to give myself more grace. I allow myself more time to get up in the morning, process what the day will be, etc. While this was very difficult for me, there were two things I knew. One was that there was a really cool job for me eventually and the other being I would land something in the mean time to keep paying the bills.
Having all this time meant lots of time for markets. I thoroughly enjoyed selling my jewelry and meeting tons of new faces. I participated in Seltzer Saturday at Native Sun, a dispensary in Massachusetts. This combined my love for cannabis and my own business. I also took part in their Summer Fest event at the drive in theater I grew up going to. Its amazing to see how cannabis is being more and more accepted. Around this time I also was hired to work an event for Wynk, a cannabis seltzer company. They needed help at Green River Fest and I was more than happy to help. I got to hangout at Green River Fest, pouring uninfused samples and listening to great music. This was my first time at Green River Fest. I was able to come back the next day just for fun. Seeing Lake Street live was one of the highlights of summer 2022. Then it was on to the Grumpy Cup!
The Grumpy Cup is an infused barbecue fest/cup put on in the Fairgrounds. I was able to go at a special rate and table for 3 days. In those 3 days I was surrounded by like minded people, stoners, and people selling their handmade products. For 3 days I hung out, smoked A TON, ate delicious barbecue, and made some money! Doing all these events was so much different than what I've been used to. It was a really nice break from working the standard 8 hour a day jobs. Then I did land a "regular job" delivering medical cannabis to patients. I started training but there was something really special that I was so excited to do before the delivery part started.
Mid July, a New York times best selling author who also happens to be a person I admire on Instagram was doing a book tour and stopping back in her home state of Connecticut. Brianna Madia is a person and woman I admire for going to the beat of her own drum. I had been following her account for years, getting glimpses of her life in beautiful Utah with her fur babies. Social media only shows small parts of a persons life. The book "Nowhere For Very Long" was very intriguing as it dove into her life and why and how she is the was she is, a true and wild spirited individual. I would go to the river with this book in hand. There was no better place to read a book like this than in a riverbed. Meeting her was absolutely amazing. Even though it was just a couple minutes, it was something I will not forget. I got to meet her four fur babies, get my booked signed as well as a hug, and I saw big Bertha in the parking lot.
(if you don't know who that is, I guess you should read the book.) Then it was back to real life and work.
This was a major corporate cannabis job. I was not sure how I was going to like it, however it was in the industry I want a career in and it would allow me to still do my ski instructing. Delivery driving means lots of sitting on your butt. This is not something I am used to as my jobs have consisted of taking care of farm animals, managing a horse camp and farm birthday parties, mucking horse stalls at a private barn, obviously ski instructing, and even working in the hospital I moved a lot. I do not consider myself an athlete nonetheless I am quite athletic. To be on my ass for 8 hours a day was okay at first, but with manager/scheduling issues plus the lack of moving I got sick of it really quick. The worst is, other than looking for jobs for months I was also looking for a place to live.
I enjoyed my first apartment a lot. It was huge and had two bathrooms. The downfall is I did have a good price for a reason. There were quite a few issues with living there that I could not wait to leave behind. Looking for apartments took up a lot of time and energy. I reached out and applied to well over 100 apartments. I looked at many of them which meant driving to Brattleboro & Wilmington, VT and all over Franklin County. I was determined to find a place not too much smaller than the one I was in for about the same monthly cost. I learned that this was almost impossible. The frustration increased as I started working the delivery gig. Even though it was only part time, it left less time for searching for a place to live. There was a lot of change happening at once, something I do not do well with. I was not just looking for a place for me, but also for my partner at the time. We had big dreams together and were looking for the spot for both of us. Things took a rapid twist and that is for a different post some day...
Summer flew by and September came very quick. In the summer months I tabled at countless events, shot video for a wedding and ended summer shooting photos for one of my college friends weddings. I experienced so much this season. From things I've incorporated into my life like many days baking in the sun by the river with delicious burritos and chasing waterfalls to all the new things that I've already mentioned. It was time to transition to fall. Fall means getting ready for ski season. In order for me to have felt good about the winter I knew I still had to secure a place to live.
September turned into October and October into November. The stress level for me was rising. Between dealing with a volatile relationship, issues with my job giving me less hours, and ski instructor orientation around the corner, I was beyond overstimulated. As well, being the only one in my relationship that was actively bringing in money and looking for a place to live, I was at my limit. Around this time, is when my eyes opened to how much had changed, how much I had changed. I was starting to not recognize myself. Other than gaining weight and losing muscle from my job, I was was eating my emotions. Coming home to my first apartment was no longer enjoyable and my relationship was not safe. I could have avoided so much of what was harming me if I was strong enough. They say things happen for a reason... I wish sometimes we develop courage quicker in certain situations. Yes, this is vague. (I will have a separate blog allll about my crazy passionate, turbulent, heart twisting, volatile love story.)
When mountain orientation came around I was elated. To be around people that have become my family is always so special. Each year, winter ends and about a month later I am ready to see my mountain family again. I am not much of a hugger, and yet I cannot wait to hug all my favorite people once this day comes around in November. After orientation, I was so looking to put my skis on and get some ski therapy. This is one of the most unsettling and restless times for me. The period of longing for the first snow.
At the end of November I found an apartment!! This was huge and would take off so much stress. It is on a main road and is missing some things that I have been fortunate to live with like a dishwasher. Nonetheless, it resides in one of my favorite spots in Massachusetts, it would make my commute to the mountain shorter, the landlords are really kind, etc. I also learned the job I've been hoping for, working in cannabis in Vermont, was about to be a real thing. December I started moving into my new apartment and I started my new job slinging weed in Vermont.
As I've said before, I do not do well with change especially not a lot at once. Suddenly, there was so much change at once and my mind was like "AHHHH". I still do not know what or how everything happened. The holiday times are always a whirlwind but this was exceptional. There is one special moment that does stand out, my birthday. Being a ski bum with a December birthday is like a blessing and a curse. This season it was a blessing. A big snow storm came in and I was able to ski some amazing powder!!
Writing this I want to leave out some parts of these memories but then I would be lying to you and myself. My partner at the time drove us through over a foot of snow to the mountain. With how much snow there was we had freshies on so many trails. We shared laughs and yips and so much smiling between being covered in powder. This was the last joyous happy moment I felt with him. This was something we had done for my birthday in prior years and is always special. I don't regret this day one bit and do cherish the memory.
My relationship went downhill from there. I watched myself disappear...
My career in cannabis in Vermont was just starting. I loved the company I started to work for as they are entrepreneurs who really do care about this small valley. Working at this shop and the mountain was my saving grace. I needed to be out of my old apartment and fully in my new one by the end of the month. Being at work was my distraction from the hell I was living in. Winter was just starting and now the new year.
Each year is a year to start anew.
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